Mmm zuchini season

Just stir fry them.  Trust me.  And make them as hot as you dare; sriracha and mongolian hot oil, I'm looking at you.

That is all.  Off to play with porks.  More later, methinks.

Pad thai

I've done this a few times now. It isn't what you get from a Thai restaurant. Apparently it's also even closer to the real thing than what you can get in this country.

I based this largely on several readings of this extensive post. It's really good. And then I ignored much of the advice and came up with the following.

So, two parts: sauce and assembly.

Sauce

• 1/2 cup fish sauce, more or less. The stuff is salty so take that into account.
• 1/2ish cup -- maybe more -- rice wine vinegar. This was basically because tamarind paste is hard to find; I'm sure it's better done the right way.
• Pure cane sugar -- more than expected
• Sriracha (plenty)
• Garlic-chili paste (also plenty)
• Water to take salt down and get a sauce that will reduce properly under very high heat

Let that all combine for some hours on low heat. You can even keep it for some weeks. Fish sauce is an amazing preservative.

Prep

As per suggestion, I've decided that woking up one serving at a time is the best way to go. Not only does it let you customize to the taste of your fellow eaters, it just comes out better.

But first, noodles. I've used pho. Soaked in hot tap water for less than about five minutes. Make sure these are ready to go.

Take your choice of proteins. I like chicken for this; beef is too aggressive, I hate shrimp, and I don't much care for tofu. If you're going to use shrimp, be sure to add it later than you would the chicken (which goes in first).

Slice your chicken, preferably breast for this (trust me, you won't miss the fat), quite thin. This is rather important, as you really don't want any single serving to be in the wok for more than, say, 90 to 120 seconds.

Crush some peanuts, preferably unsalted. The easy way: put a bunch of peanutes in a ziploc bag and either use a rolling pin to roll them into near pulp or, say, a cast iron pan. Either works.

Dice some green onion.

Chiffonade some basil, preferably Thai or purple, but we've talked about those before.

Wash some bean sprouts. More than you think.

If desired, let about an egg per serving come to room temp. I also hate egg, so I don't add this myself, but it's not only traditional, it's almost required to be "real" pad thai.

Assembly

Heat peanut oil, plenty, in a wok. Toss in any non-seafood with a small ladel-full of the sauce. Cook that nearly through as quickly as possible.

Add noddles and bean sprouts.

If using egg, push everything in the wok to one side save some of the sauce and basically scramble the egg very quickly on the bottom of the wok.

Add shrimp here and make damn sure the heat is high enough to cook quickly.

Add peanuts.

Add more sauce, probably a few ladels if your heat is high enough.

Finish with basil, green onion, etc.

Serve with lime slices and more peanuts for maximum effect.

Mmm. Realish pad thai.

Basic beef stir fry

(Part 3 (1 is here; 2 is here) of what I've taken as a challenge from my cousin.)

Since I can't sleep, I might as well write, right?

I'm assuming that I got my taste for noodles with stir fry from my mother who got it from Taiwan.  Most parts of China and southeast Asia would insist on rice instead.  So we'll go with rice this time.

First, get your rice started.  Do it as you will.  I'm not violently opposed to rice cookers even.  But a stove top Basmati really is better.

Basic ingredients:

• Beef, sliced thin.  Preferably a cut without too much gristle.
• Bell peppers, sliced as you like, but I also like to do long and thing for this
• Water chestnuts, lightly chopped
• Bok choy, chopped
• Ginger, garlic, the usual

Also have on hand and ready:

• Rice wine vinegar
• Soy sauce, and please use some type without MSG and with salt
• Sugar
• Corn starch
• Water

Heat your wok.  Add oil -- preferably peanut at this stage.  Maillard the beef; it shouldn't take long.  White sesame seeds are optional at this point but oh so tasty.  Remove and set aside.

Wipe the wok with a paper towel once it's cool enough to do so.

Add about a 50/50 blend of sesame oil and, if you can find it, Mongolian hot oil.  Vegetable time, but only go about half way through the cooking process.  Usual order; start with garlic, add ginger, add peppers, add water chestnuts.  Then bring the heat way down.

And this is where we develop the sauce.  It's pretty much to taste, but the listed ingredients will give you an idea of where to start.  Both the sugar and the corn starch will thicken, and the water is obviously there to make sure it isn't too thick.

When you're happy with the sauce, turn the heat back up a bit, add the beef, and toss in the chopped bok choy.  If you've timed it right, the rice should be about done as well.

And that's a meal.

One of my best yet most failed experiments of all time

(Part 2 in a series that I consider a challenge from my cousin.)

I love pad prik khing.  There's this phenomenal place in Littleton, CO that does it just right: Wild Ginger.

The basic idea: a protein of your choice with green beans and a red sauce that could probably remove paint.  Oh, and a bit of basil for balance.

1. I would recommend going to Wild Ginger and you're a fan of Thai food if you're anywhere in the area.  The tom yum gum is also amazing even though I have a deep detest for shrimp.  And that should tell you something.
2. Do not go to Wild Basil and please do not get them confused.

So, the idea: marinate the proteins first.  In this case tofu and since I hate tofu, chicken.

Basic marinade:

• Small amount of sugar
• LOTS of sriracha sauce
• Small amount of fish sauce (no, trust me, it's good when cooked)
• A couple of spoonfulls of that nice Thai hot garlic paste; brand so far hasn't mattered

And you let that sit and talk about politics in the North Caucasus or books or movies or something for half an hour or something.  Maybe for people who have/want kids you'd rather talk about babies.

But at about that point, you want to parboil the green beans.  For god's sake, don't cook them through.  But blanch them a bit; they'll come out greener that way.

Toss said ingredients in a wok and start stir frying like mad.  Add sriracha like crazy.  Add a bit of soy just because.  Add some fresh ginger.  Add more sriracha.

And then start reducing.  Add sriracha as needed to make the consistency right.  Maybe some water might be called for as well.

Meat should be done.  Tofu should be done whatever that means.  But just leave it in.

As the sauce reduces, well, do the "logical" thing and keep adding sriracha.  A bit of cane sugar is also a nice touch.  Nothing bad could come of that, right?  Right?

Eventually, you'll have a thick sauce of tofu, chicken, some sort of sweet red sauce, and hopefully a whole ton of green beans.  Garnish with fresh basil; thai basil if you can get it, purple if you can't, and normal if you can't get that.

Maybe you should have made substantial amounts of rice as well.

I couldn't finish my chicken.  I think I lost about a gallon of water through my eyes and forehead.  My mother, the other victim/scientist, did about as well with her tofu.  Even the beans, which were absolutely awesome and at peak season, couldn't be touched (well, not true, we ate a half a pound of them).

But that, people, was a good prik khing.  And no, not pad prik khing; we did use rice.

But wow was that a meal worth remembering.

Very basic stir fry side dish

(Part 1 in a series that I consider a challenge from my cousin.) 

As stated, very basic.

• Snow peas, ends snapped as needed.  About a pound.
• Half a red pepper, finely cubed
• Garlic to taste, chopped finely
• Sesame oil, but not too much

Heat the oil.

Toast the peppers slightly.  Add garlic, but don't over-sear it.  Add snow peas.

If you're in the mood, grate some ginger and add that with the garlic but it really isn't needed.

Serve as is, preferably in a black bowl.

Doesn't get simpler than that.