One of my best yet most failed experiments of all time

(Part 2 in a series that I consider a challenge from my cousin.)

I love pad prik khing.  There's this phenomenal place in Littleton, CO that does it just right: Wild Ginger.

The basic idea: a protein of your choice with green beans and a red sauce that could probably remove paint.  Oh, and a bit of basil for balance.

1. I would recommend going to Wild Ginger and you're a fan of Thai food if you're anywhere in the area.  The tom yum gum is also amazing even though I have a deep detest for shrimp.  And that should tell you something.
2. Do not go to Wild Basil and please do not get them confused.

So, the idea: marinate the proteins first.  In this case tofu and since I hate tofu, chicken.

Basic marinade:

• Small amount of sugar
• LOTS of sriracha sauce
• Small amount of fish sauce (no, trust me, it's good when cooked)
• A couple of spoonfulls of that nice Thai hot garlic paste; brand so far hasn't mattered

And you let that sit and talk about politics in the North Caucasus or books or movies or something for half an hour or something.  Maybe for people who have/want kids you'd rather talk about babies.

But at about that point, you want to parboil the green beans.  For god's sake, don't cook them through.  But blanch them a bit; they'll come out greener that way.

Toss said ingredients in a wok and start stir frying like mad.  Add sriracha like crazy.  Add a bit of soy just because.  Add some fresh ginger.  Add more sriracha.

And then start reducing.  Add sriracha as needed to make the consistency right.  Maybe some water might be called for as well.

Meat should be done.  Tofu should be done whatever that means.  But just leave it in.

As the sauce reduces, well, do the "logical" thing and keep adding sriracha.  A bit of cane sugar is also a nice touch.  Nothing bad could come of that, right?  Right?

Eventually, you'll have a thick sauce of tofu, chicken, some sort of sweet red sauce, and hopefully a whole ton of green beans.  Garnish with fresh basil; thai basil if you can get it, purple if you can't, and normal if you can't get that.

Maybe you should have made substantial amounts of rice as well.

I couldn't finish my chicken.  I think I lost about a gallon of water through my eyes and forehead.  My mother, the other victim/scientist, did about as well with her tofu.  Even the beans, which were absolutely awesome and at peak season, couldn't be touched (well, not true, we ate a half a pound of them).

But that, people, was a good prik khing.  And no, not pad prik khing; we did use rice.

But wow was that a meal worth remembering.

Chili con carne

I have an issue with chili. I don't mind the stuff, but I tend to get aggressive and insist that "real" chili is green. And has hominy. And is actually called pozole.

But that doesn't stop me from occasionally doing a true con carne. Because, really, it can be good.

In a dutch oven, brown 1.5 pounds of ground beef with generous amounts of cumin, oregano, and sage. Remove the beef, retaining the fat.

In the fat, sweat 2.5 medium onions -- chopped to half inch or so bits
-- and 8 serrano peppers all chopped up, seeds and all. Browning the onions a bit isn't a bad thing either.

Add the meat back in along with:

* 1 can tomato sauce
* 1 can tomato paste
* 1 quart beef broth
* 3 generous spoonfuls pace picante
* 3 cans small red beans
* a bunch of salt

Simmer for about 45 minutes. 1.5 hours wouldn't hurt.

Ten minutes prior to serving, add two hunked up bell peppers if desired.

Serve with shredded cheddar cheese.