Actually good vegetarian tacos

Vegetarian tacos are boring.  There, I said it.  A rice/bean mixture in a corn tortilla just isn't the most exciting thing in the world even if you've managed to throw together some really tasty rice and some time-tested beans. As it turns out, those do much better in a flour tortilla together, but that's another discussion for another day.

So you get creative.  And maybe you have to throw in an under-appreciated starchy vegetable.  And maybe, just maybe, you've been playing with some of the more esoteric uses of a food processor.  You might come up with something like this.

Part the first: a bean salad.

In a large bowl, combine 2 cans or 1lb of (soaked, cooked, etc) black beans, well-drained.  Throw in a a can of corn.  Perhaps pull out a can of olives, slice that up, and add.  While you're on knife work, dice a red onion finely -- and half a medium jicama, a bit less fine.

Set that aside; it won't need dressing for these purposes and you'll have plenty of leftovers that you can dress as you go.

Part the second: purée.  In a food processor, combine the following:

• 1 avocado
• a modest amount of corn or olive oil
• a dash or two of red wine vinegar
• juice (and pulp; why not) of 1 lime
• red pepper flake to taste
• small amounts of garlic (powder is fine here)
• a pinch of salt

Blend that puppy until smooth.  If you need a bit more liquid, add either oil or vinegar based on taste and overall texture.  Oh, and if you're making ahead or in a large batch, be sure to retain an avocado pit to keep from browning before serving.

And that's it.  Toast yourself up some corn tortillas, layer on the purée, bean mixture, and whatever loose greens you have around.  You might note that this is not just vegetarian at this point, but also vegan.  Feel free to keep it that way -- or sneak in cheese and yogurt.  And there you go: interesting tacos that don't depend on all the usual ingredients.

Cilatro-lime rice

For the longest time, Chipotle owned the ciltro-lime rice game. In fact, their white rice is still to die for. The problem? They never quite hit home with their brown rice. But there is a way to do it. This is how. All ratios are normalized for a single cup of rice. Add olive or corn oil to a decent sized pot. Add:

• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• Zest from 1/2 lime
• Whole cumin

Toast that to extract the flavors into the oil.  Bring to high heat and add the rice.

Shortly after, add juice of whatever limes you used plus water to equal 1.75 cups.  Let the boil down to level, then turn the heat all the way down and steam for 35 minutes (at altitude; 30 might be enough at lower elevations).

Fluff the hot rice, then toss with 1/2 bunch of chopped cilantro and salt to taste.

6.0221415 mashed salad

Umm.  Chemistry jokes are in right now, right?











Ok, so no.  So this is guacamole.  If you've never done it yourself, fix that. If you have, learn to go for minimalism; avocados are in season.

For some magical reason, the local grocery store has ripe avocados on the shelf.  This, for the record, never happens. Most avocados are firm and slightly, umm, bitter?  At least when you buy them.  But apparently right now they're just slightly soft and perfect for just slicing into, which is good, because I wasn't about to give them enough time to ripen to that state.

So, a very, very basic guacamole.  Combine in a suitable bowl:

• 2 ripe avocados, type doesn't really matter as long as they're about medium sized, but do reserve one pit
• 1 roma tomato, diced
• Juice of 1 lime
• Either some very finely diced garlic or two or three dashes of powdered garlic

And that's it.  Just stop.  Don't add onions.  Don't add anything to heat it up.  It just isn't needed.  A good guacamole should bring out the avocado flavor, not smother it and use the guacamole as an agent.

Mash by hand.  It's actually fun if the avocados are ripe; they squish like playdough.  Make sure everything is well-combined, wash up a bit, and then serve with chips or whatever else.

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On the title?  It's a pun.  That is all.